Thursday, December 6, 2018

The Constant Whiner, by Anne Berg

There is a great movie from 2005 titled The Constant Gardener. A movie should be made about The Constant Whiner - Lennie the Chin

Lennie the Chin

“As a direct and proximate result of the City’s violation of Mr. Pozner’s rights as described in this Count, he has been injured and has suffered damages, including pain and suffering, mental anguish and emotional distress, economic damages, and loss of capacity to enjoy life,” Tietig wrote.

James Fetzer:

"Lenny, whose real name appears to be Reuben Vabner, is suing me, my series editor, Mike Palecek, and Moon Rock Books for defamation, his ultimate goal being to shut down our ability to publish and to stifle free speech."

Well, it's kind of hard to defame a faceless, soulless, heartless non entity like Lenny. What claim to fame does Lenny have to begin with? Father of a child killed twice on continents apart. Not many can make that claim so perhaps Lenny does have a valid case. He is famous all right like his brethren in the firm except they were not, and are not, afraid to show their mugs in public. Nor did they ever file suits for defamation. That would've been a hoot. Imagine Meyer Lansky and Bugsy Siegel suing someone for defamation! Lenny, the agency created mobster, needs a nickname like those given great mobsters from the past. Here are some suggestions:

Lennie the Lump named after famed gangster Louie the Lump (Louis Pioggi) may be a good one

Or Lennie the Face, since he has none

Lennie the Typewriter fits too, named after Chuckie the Typewriter (Charles Nicoletti) 

Lennie the Gaspipe is another one, belonged to Tony the Gaspipe (Anthony Casso)

And why not Lead Pipe Lennie after Lead Pipe Joe (Joseph Todaro Sr.)

Joe Todaro Sr. aka "Lead Pipe Joe"
Cousin Lennie is soothing, almost like Cousin Eddie (Eddie Garafola)

Lennie the Fixer is almost as good as Charlie the Fixer (Charles Fischetti)

Lennie from Brooklyn fills in for George from Canada (Gerlando Sciascia)

Lennie the Shadow looks as good as Ferdi the Shadow (Ferdinand Boccia)

Lennie the Weasel competes with Jimmy the Weasel (Aladino "Jimmy" Fratianno) 

Lennie the Undertaker gets the baton from Don Stefano the Undertaker (Stefano Magaddino)

Last but not least, Lennie the Oddfather, a play off Vinnie the Oddfather (Vincent Gigante) 

Vinnie was at other times called Vinnie the Chin and now we have Lennie the Chin



1 comment:

  1. I personally like "Gasbag Lenny"! But any of the suggested ones will do for me. We all know who is meant.